What, are you Crazy?
by Naturally High
Summary: A oneshot fic about ZADR. . .WARNING: This fic mocks ZADR! IF YOU LIKE ZADR, TURN BACK! If you don't, READ! READ IT!


Howdy, mates! I made this stupid, little oneshot about ZADR! MAKING FUN of ZADR, that is! So turn back if you are one of those nutso fan girls who drool over the stuff! I don't like romance, there is no one in my life that love, 'cept my family. Romance makes me gag! Damn, how hate romance movies. . .I skip that section in Blockbuster, entirely! HORROR AND COMEDY RAWK!So a DIB and ZIM romance certainly doesn't make me happeh! So, this is just my opinion, SO NO FLAMES! Wait. . .Actually. . .flame all you want! I can use your flames to burn things, on account that my mum took my lighter and matches away. . .Oh, how I love to burn things. . .O.o

Disclaimer- I do not own Invader Zim. If I did, I WOULD BE SCREAMING IT TO THE WORLD! YAH! BUT I DO OWN A VIDEO GAME IDEA NAMED "The Wrath of Raksheen", SO I'LL SCREAM THAT TO THE WORLD INSTEAD!** I OWN THE WRATH OF RAKSHEEN! IT'S ALL MINE, DAMMIT!**

"**What, are you Crazy?"**

It was Skool, and Dib sat at his desk by the window. He gazed dreamily over to his crush. Yes, Dib had a crush! On who? ZIM! Why? 'Cause that's what the story's about, dammit!

Yes, Zim had been Dib's mortal enemy, the horrible green space monster he had hated so much. But in a sudden twist of events, Dib LOVED Zim so much, he couldn't live without him! (How? Did I make up ZADR? Nope! So don't ask me! I DON'T EVEN GET ROMANCE! IS IT A KIND OF LETTUCE?)

So, today was the day. The day Dib would reveal his feelings to Zim. And, hopefully, Zim would feel the same way. And then they could make out and do naughty things and live together forever in happiness! Dib smiled happily.

He looked to his love again, who was glaring at the clock at twiddling his thumbs. Dib looked at the clock as well. _2:59! It's almost time for me to do what I've been waiting to do for weeks, _thought Dib, giddily. The minute hand finally reached the 12 and the bell rang. Children screamed in absolute joy. Ms. Bitters glared at them all and disappeared into the shadows, going WHO KNOWS where. But we know it's not pleasant. . .Or heck, maybe it is! Maybe she is going to a room full of PUPPIES! YAY!

Anyway, the children ran out of the class, some jumping through windows, others were rolling around on the floor. Gir (in disguise) appeared from nowhere and joined the children in the rolling. (What the -?) Zim leaped from his seat and grabbed his highly disturbed 'bot, and then proceeded in walking out of class of DOOM! Gir was screaming "But I wanna roll around with the crazy kids! I WANNA ROLL AROUND!" (You aren't the only one, Gir. . .Sniff. . .) Dib quickly ran out the classroom door, following Zim. He rushed out the entrance of the Skool building and spotted Gaz.

"Gaz! GAZ!" yelped Dib.

"Stop screaming! I can hear you, idiot. What do you want, melon head?" answered his gloomy sister, Gaz, who was playing her Gameslave, like always.

"I can't walk home with you today. I have some. . .Business to take care of with Zim." said Dib.

"So? Why should I care? It'll be quieter without you. And I LIKE silence." she growled.

"Okay, Gaz! See ya!" said Dib, running off to Zim's base. Gaz grunted in reply. It wasn't long before he reached the eerie, green house. He walked up to the door, watching out for the gnomes, and checked the door. _Unlocked. . . _Dib stepped inside. Zim's little robot was in the kitchen, wearing a chef's hat. He was stirring a batter of some sort and whistling the tune to "Hotel California". (Why? I LOVE THE EAGLES!) He turned around as he heard the door open.

"HI, MISTA BIG HEAD! I'M MAKIN' COOKIES! TACO COOKIES!" Gir screeched while dumping a package of cheese into the batter. Dib's nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Uh, where is your master? I need to talk to him. . ." asked Dib.

Gir stuck his tongue out and seemed to think. SEEMED to think. "Oh yah! Masta's down there!" he answered, pointing to the ground, "I'll gets him fer ya!"

"**MASTA! BIG HEAD'S HEAR TO SEEEEE YOOOOOOOOU!**" screeched Gir in a voice so loud, that Zim HAD to have heard it, even through the sound-proof walls of his lab. Dib covered his ears. Sure enough, Zim (out of disguise) came up through the toilet looking EXTREMELY peeved.

"**GIR!** HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO. . ." Zim started, but, seeing Dib, he stopped. Zim realized his disguise was not with him, and Dib must be here to take pictures of the mighty ZIM!

"DIB-HUMAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Zim yelped, hiding behind the couch to protect his identity.

"Oh, don't worry, Zim. I'm not here to reveal you as an alien. I'm here rather to reveal some of my feelings. . .About you!" stated Dib.

"Ehn?" grunted Zim, thoroughly confused. He stood up looked at Dib, to see if he was faking to catch him off guard. Dib seemed like he meant it, whatever "it" was.

"I wanted to tell you, Zim, that I love you!" said Dib with a smile.

"WHAT?" Zim gasped.

"I. . ." Dib began.

"WHAT?"

"I. . ."

"WHAT?"

"I. . ."

"WHAT?"

"ZIM! SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK!"

". . ."

"Okay, I know we are mortal enemies, but I've gained. . .Feelings for you!" said Dib.

"Why?" asked Zim.

"I. . ." began Dib.

"Why?"

Dib glared and Zim shut up abruptly. "There are so many reasons. . .You are just so cute. . .Your eyes. . .So beautiful. . .Your figure, and your quirky personality. . .I just couldn't love anyone more. . ." stated Dib, dreamily. (GOL! GAGGING OUT LOUD!) Zim just looked at Dib strangely. Dib couldn't control himself anymore and leaned into Zim for a kiss. Their mouths met and the kiss had just began, when Dib felt a stinging pain on his cheek. He reared back and Zim began gagging uncontrollably. Dib felt his cheek and realized Zim had slapped him. HARD. He blinked, confused, stillrubbing the painful, three-fingered hand mark on his cheek.

"WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU HUMAN SCUM! Germs. . .Horrible human germs of FILTH!" spat Zim, furious. Zim then yanked his tongue out and scraped the horrible GERMS off it. (This will be my reaction to my first kiss! Which hasn't come yet and probably never will!) This CERTAINLY wasn't the reaction Dib had suspected. Dib sat on the ground dazed. Zim glared a death glare at him, and grabbed Dib by the collar of his trench coat. Zim angrily dragged his ever lovin' ass outta his lair, and dropped him off on the sidewalk.

"You EVER try that again and I shall DESTROY YOUR HEAD OF HUGENESS! YOU DARE LOVE ZIM? HA! I LAUGH AT YOUR FOOLISHNESS! WAH HA HA HA HA HA!" Zim screeched at Dib. He then walked to his door, walkin' that cool Zim-walk. Zim slammed the door, and locked it, in case the horrible Dib-thing came back for another DISGUSTING saliva exchange.

Meanwhile, outside, Dib had gotten up. He dusted himself off and glared at Zim's house.

"What was I _thinking_? _ZIM_? Bah. . ." muttered Dib to himself, shaking his head. He strode off towards his home and decided that he was best being Zim's enemy.

Back inside Zim's home, Zim was gargling mouthwash, hopefully destroying all the Dib-worm's germs. He shuddered.

"NO ONE IS FIT TO LOVE ZIM! ZIM IS TOO MIGHTY FOR ALL!" Zim yelled, to no one in particular. (Oh, God! Did the Dib spit give him Dib traits?)

"_I_ luv you, masta!" said a smiley Gir, who sat on the couch. Zim rolled his eyes and strode off to the toilet, flushing himself down to finish whatever he had been doing before Dib had come and so RUDELY interrupted him.

_Fin! _(Fan girls scream, "It's finally over! THANK GOD!")

Woo! That was FUN! Especially the part where they kissed!You slap him Zim! Pervert. . .Well, R&R! This is my first oneshot so be gentle!


End file.
